Five Things I Learned From Practicing Gratitude Every Day
We don’t start our lives unhappy. As children, most of us laugh at the simplest things. Sure, we cry sometimes, but we tend to get over troublesome moments quickly; then get back to having fun again. We look forward to things. Life is one big, fun experience. We’re excited for what comes next.
Then somehow, as we get older, we lose that joy and excitement. One day, you’ll find yourself in a negative place. Everyone and everything will be annoying. You’ll think everything would be better if only everyone changed their behavior.
When I hit that place, I started practicing gratitude. Not at first, because I had no idea what gratitude really was or how powerful it could be. I came across it in happiness advice columns and books on happiness written by Shawn Achor. There was even some scientific research claiming it would make you feel better.
I thought, what the hell, practicing gratitude certainly won’t make things worse. I started writing down a few things each day I was grateful for (researchers suggest writing three specific things a day for at least 21 days). My life didn’t immediately change on day one, but as the days turned to weeks, I realized five things about gratitude.
- It’s not a cure for unhappiness.
Practicing gratitude doesn’t cure misery. The reasons you’re in a negative place are often more complex than not being grateful for what you have. But practicing gratitude is part of a healthy diet of finding joy and happiness in your life. You should definitely add it to your daily routine. That and a little fiber. Just saying.
2. There are lots of things to be grateful for.
When I first started the journal, I looked for obvious things to be grateful for. The free lunch at work, the raise at my job, my good health. But after the first few days, I had to dig deeper and really look around me. I found smaller, everyday occurrences to appreciate. I got more specific (like the research says you should do). I was grateful that someone liked my idea for a story, or that a friend called to connect with me and made me laugh, or that the overcast day had cleared and I saw a beautiful sunset.
The more days I spent doing the journal, the easier it became to find more than three things each day to be grateful for.
3. It changes your perspective.
After I writing in my gratitude journal for a few weeks, I noticed my perspective had changed. Where once, everything was negative, I was able to find positive occurrences — everywhere. Things I took for granted (someone holding a door, a smile from a stranger, a compliment from my boss), now seemed quite special.
It was all about appreciating what I had instead of focusing on what I didn’t have. The idea is simple but takes a lot of gratitude practice to acquire the habit.
4. You can recognize your moods.
After practicing gratitude for a while, I noticed I was able to gauge my mood better. I realized when I was tired, I would fall into a negative mindset. I would dwell on stupid people and things and make detailed plots of how they should change.
When I would catch myself in this negative train of thought, I would say to myself, “Wait, you’re just tired; these people aren’t jerks, and the world doesn’t need to change.” The only thing that needs to change is how much sleep I got each night. When I was well rested, the world was always a wonderful place and people were beautiful.
5. You’ll stop negative spirals.
Did you ever have a bad day and you start listing all the things that were going sideways? Someone cut in front of you in traffic, you got a bad evaluation, and…well, there’s always a third thing to show there’s a pattern of the universe acting against you.
Gratitude stopped these negative spirals in my life. By looking for the good each and every day, it was very easy to dispel negative patterns. There was always something good to find — even on the worst days.
The bottom line is practicing gratitude will make your life better. It won’t make you happy but it will prevent you from becoming unhappier. After a few weeks, you will be better able to understand your moods, stop negative spirals, focus on what you have, see lots of good things everywhere, and that all people aren’t jerks.
Kyle Crocco daylights as the Creative Content Marketing Coordinator at BigSpeak Speakers Bureau and nightlights as the lead singer of Duh Professors. He regularly publishes content about business thought leaders on Medium, Business 2 Community, and Born 2 Invest.
